Fun in Mordor
by Dark's Wings
Summary: Lord of the rings... with a twist. What happens to the fellowship when a sassy, regal half elf gets added to their numbers? How does she change the fight again Saron and does Legolas have a love? Read to see.


Kaylee rode through the trees, her horse's hooves muffled with pieces of cloth and the pine needle carpeted ground. She looked ahead, her breath coming faster in her lungs in anticipation of the coming fight.

There they were, she could just see them through the trees, their horses trotting boldly down the middle of the road. Nine riders. The fools who would be so brazen as to ride through her brother's country and do whatever they pleased. Well, not anymore if she had anything to say about it.

Kaylee watched as they slowed their horses at a signal from the one in the lead, an old man with long silver hair and a gray beard, wearing long gray robes and carrying a twisted wooden staff. "We'll camp here for tonight." his voice carried across the road to her waiting ears. The rest of the party began dismounting, unpacking saddle bags, and stretching their legs.

Kaylee took this opportunity to study her opponents. The four hobbits didn't look like they would be too much of a problem. Two of them were busy peering over the old man's shoulder as he supervised the beginnings of dinner while the other two were engaged in quiet conversation. She doubted the old man would be much trouble either.

She turned her attention to the bigger threats, the elf, the dwarf and the two humans. They all looked like seasoned fighters, and the elf carried a bow as if he knew quite well how to use it. She would make them her primary targets. Once they were down the others would fall easily.

The girl tied her horse's reigns to the branch of a large tree, swinging smoothly down from the saddle. This would go better if she attacked from on foot.

She drew her twin blades and they came free of their sheaths with a quiet "Shhhnik." She took good care of these blades, as could be seen in their shinning metal and well polished hilts. They were her way of life, and her only friends.

A small, cocky smile drew up the corners of her mouth. This was what she was supposed to do. This was her purpose. This was life.

She crept forward to the edge of the trees, as close to the party as she could get while still remaining out of sight. The elf was looking around suspiciously. Could he have heard her? Impossible.

He turned to the human beside him and she heard the low murmur of his voice. "Aaragon." he said, and then slipped into Elvish.

Kaylee wrinkled her nose in disgust. She hated Elvish. It was a dumb language, and she always had trouble when they talked to fast. Still the elf's words were simple enough, and Kaylee found that she could understand them quite easily. Maybe she was getting better with elvish stuff.

"Do you think someone is following us?" the elf asked the swordsman.

The swordsman shrugged and replied in much faster Elvish that Kaylee had a hard time catching. "I don't know. I have felt something was off for a while, ever since-"

Kaylee couldn't understand that part. She picked it up again when the human went on with "Perhaps we should tell Gandalf."

The elf gave a small nod of his head. The two were turning back to the fire and Kaylee saw her chance. Without hesitation she lept from the cover of the trees, her swords flashing bright silver around her.

She would have had them if the elf hadn't turned and shoved the human to the ground, just as Kaylee's sword sliced through the air where his head had been only seconds before. Kaylee growled in frustration and swung at the elf. He had no time to draw his sword and even if he had it wouldn't have done him any good. Kaylee was fast, and she was good. He didn't have a chance.

Suddenly her arm and hand were thrown back, away from the elf. She looked to see the old man with his stick pointed at her, a glare in his eyes.

The elf took advantage of this to draw his own sword and come at her, striking down hard towards her other sword. Kaylee could tell he was just trying to disarm her, but she was in no mood to play nice. She saw that the human was back on his feet and was coming towards her as well. All the others around the small clearing had also drawn their weapons and were watching her with wary, ready expressions. Fine then. She would just have to kill them all.

She twirled, meeting the elven blade with her own and neatly knocking it away. With her other sword she parried the human's blow. By the time the two had recovered her swords were back up and she stood ready a few paces away, watching them through narrowed eyes. "Bring it on." She muttered, quietly.

The elf looked at the human and nodded. The human stepped forward his sword slicing towards her while the elf danced lightly back, pulling his bow from his back and drawing an arrow.

Kaylee scowled and parried the fighter's blow with one blade, knocking him on the head with the hilt of the other. She jumped towards the elf who was setting his arrow to the string and neatly chopped his arrow in two. She brought her other blade up to hit him as she had the human but he sidestepped quickly and caught her sword arm in one hand.

Kaylee frowned and twirled her wrist, angling the sword down to slice into his shoulder. The elf's expression hardened but other then that he gave no sign that the cut had hurt him as he shoved her sword up higher, his other hand forcing her other sword out to the side, away from him.

She began to twirl her swords again but stopped when a knife appeared at her throat, or more accurately a short sword.

"And that is quite enough of that, I think." said the old man, walking towards them. "Legolas, if you would be so good as to remove her weapons. Frodo, keep that sword ready. No reason to take any chances."

Kaylee scowled at the tiny hobbit holding the sword while the elf gingerly took her swords from her unresisting fingers. The old man nodded. "And check her for knives. My dear, you can remove your weapons yourself or Legolas can do it for you."

Kaylee scowled some more and took a careful step back, away from the end of the hobbit's sword. She pulled knives from her wrist sheaths and tossed them to the ground, then removed the ones in her belt and in her boots.

"I think you might still have a few more on you." said the human she had first hit, appearing from behind her holding his head.

Kaylee frowned at him then pulled out four more knives and tossed them down to join the others. "If you're going to kill me then get it over with already." she said impatiently, putting her hands on her hips.

The elf nodded and drew his own dagger. "That is not a bad idea actually." he said, taking a step closer to her. Kaylee stood firm, not even bothering to glance at the dagger, her eyes on the elf's face, daring him to do it.

"Wait Legolas." the old man said, in a firm commanding voice."Let's discuss this." He was listening to something the human who hadn't fought was telling him and nodded in agreement. "Yes, not a bad idea, Biromear. Not bad at all." The dwarf was beside him as well, adding his own gravely speech to their quiet conversation.

The human swordsman and the elf walked over to them while the rest of the hobbits crowded around Kaylee, making sure she wouldn't escape. Kaylee stood aloof and watched them all unconcernedly. If she was going to die so be it. At least she wouldn't have to go back to Gondor.

"What is it Gandalf?" Legolas asked, a frown on his face. "We should get rid of her now before she has a chance to learn more about us. Perhaps we can leave her in the nearest village, if she does not hear too much."

"No so fast, elf." Gimli, the dwarf said with a hearty chuckle. "We've got better things planned for her."

"What things?" the swordsman whom Legolas had referred to as Aaragon asked. "You're surely not planning to torture her."

"No, no." Gandalf said, shaking his head and stoking his long gray beard thoughtfully. "We were thinking she would make a valuable addition to our group."

"What?" Legolas asked, amazed. "You must be joking. She just tried to kill us."

"Exactly. So we already know she's a good fighter." the man beside Gandalf, Biromear said. "Come on Legolas. You know we are going to need all the help we can get in Mordor."

"She's dangerous." Aaragon said thoughtfully. "But perhaps that can be controlled if we strike some sort of bargain with her."

"No." Legolas said forcefully. "It is to risky. And even if she did agree not to kill us, would you trust her? And would she even be able to hold her own against what awaits us in Mordor? She would be more of a hindrance then a help."

"I have a proposition." Gimli put in. "A single combat fight between the elf and the girl. If she wins, we tell her who we are and what were doing and ask her to join us. If she fails, we kill her, or tie her to a horse and leave her in the next town or something."

Legolas scowled but the others were nodding thoughtfully. "Very good idea, master dwarf." Gandalf said. "What do you say, Legolas."

"If I beat her, she goes, correct?" he asked. Gandalf nodded. "Fine then." The elf turned and walked away from the group, stretching his arms and rolling his shoulders in preparation.

Gandalf turned to Kaylee. "We have decided. Legolas will challenge you to a single combat fight. If you win, we will tell you whatever you want to know. If you lose, you leave without knowing anything. You must tell us why you attacked us though."

"Why should I care who you are, or what you're doing?" Kaylee demanded still scowling. "Why should I bother to fight him anyway? Or tell you anything?"

Gandalf nodded towards the hobbits. "Because at the moment we are the ones with the upper hand. We are giving you this chance, you would be wise to take it."

"Well, I've never been wise before I don't see why I should start now." she retorted. She glanced at the elf. He was a good fighter, true but one on one she could defiantly take him. It would be easy. Then once he was dead she could go on and kill the others. If this was the only way she could convince them to give her her weapons back then so be it. They would all be dead by the time she finished anyway.

Aaragon noticed the way she was watching Legolas and quickly added "It's not a fight to the death. You fight to disarm only. If you try to kill him we will kill you without hesitation."

Kaylee snorted. As if they could kill her. How rediculas.

Gandalf nodded, his eyes narrowed as he looked at her. "Strider." he said, purposefully using Aaragon's assumed name. "Take a bow and keep it ready. If she attempts to kill Legolas, shoot her."

Aaragon nodded and took the bow Legolas passed him, setting an arrow to the string and sighting on Kaylee.

She just rolled her eyes. "Fine." she muttered. She glared at Gandalf. "Do I get my weapons back, or do you want me to fight him unarmed?"

The hobbits picked up her daggers and took them away, but one of them gave her one of her swords. She checked along it's length for dents before twirling it and nodding.

Legolas drew his own sword and stepped towards her. "One round." he said. "Let's get this over with quickly."

"I couldn't agree more." Kaylee said, stepping forward to meet him and holding her sword in front of her.

The others formed a ring around the two, Aaragon stood at the forefront, bow held ready.

Kaylee made the first move, stepping forward and slicing at the elf. Legolas neatly blocked her strike and twirled with inhuman speed to slash at her head. Kaylee matched his speed, blocking and countering just as fast as the elf. Legolas's eyebrows shot up in surprise and he jumped back. Kaylee grinned and pressed the attack, raining blow after blow on the elf.

Legolas's sword was a blur in the air before them as he parried her attacks. Once he had recovered from his initial surprise he doubled his efforts, this time driving Kaylee back.

The girl scowled and twirled, struck and parried. Legolas matched her move for move. His sword snaked out, slicing through the air next to her ear. Kaylee jumped away and her hair swirled around her, but not before the elf had seen the pointed end of her ear.

"You are Elven?" he asked, his tongue slipping easily into Elvish as he took a few steps back.

Those watching looked at Kaylee in surprise.

Kaylee scowled and flicked her hair back behind her shoulder. "No, I'm not." she said in common, refusing to speak his language. Her eyes narrowed and she twirled her sword in a slow circle in her hand. "Let's get this over with."

Legolas nodded and swept his sword up to meet hers. The two swords met with a clang and Kaylee shoved away from the elf, her sword swishing through the air faster and more deadly then ever before. Legolas scrambled to block her attack, but Kaylee would not be denied this time. Her sword twined around his and with a flick of her wrist the elf's sword flew away from him to land point first in the dirt. They stood there, panting heavily, Kaylee's sword aimed at the elf's chest.

On the side there was the twang of a bowstring as Aaragon loosed a warning arrow between the two duelers. Kaylee watched Legolas warily, but she stepped back and swept her sword down to hang at her side.

The dwarf standing next to Gandalf gave a low, gravely chuckle. "She beat ya fair and square elf. Looks like you lose." He gave another roar of laughter and walked over to Kaylee who glared at him. "Missy, I'd like to shake your hand." he said, holding his hand out to her. "That was one of the best fights I've ever seen."

Kaylee shrugged and shook his hand lightly, before pulling away.

Legolas was watching her with a frown on his face, as was Gandalf. The hobbits looked shocked and both Aaragon and Biromear looked faintly amused.

Legolas retrieved his sword and looked at Kaylee, his frown deepening. "You are not Elven? I do not understand. Are you of some other race I have no knowledge of?"

Kaylee scowled and ran her hand through her hair, making sure it concealed her ears. "I don't see why I should tell you." she said, crossing her arms and glaring at them all. "You haven't told me who you are, or where you're going. Not that I care."

"I'm afraid the first thing we have to know is why you attacked us." Gandalf said. "After that, we can decided whether we trust you enough to tell you or not."

Kaylee shoved her sword into it's sheath. "I attacked you because it's my job." she said shortly. "It's my job to kill any bandits or brigades and to keep these woods as safe as I can. And you are fools if you thought that you could do whatever you wanted in my brother's land."

"We aren't bandits or brigades. We're just travelers." Gimli protested.

Kaylee frowned. "Didn't you loot Careth? I've been following the tracks for two days..."

She looked with surprise at Aaragon as he shook his head. "We did not loot Careth, but we were there when it was looted."

Kaylee frowned and crossed her arms. "If you didn't then who did?"

"Saromun's men." Gandalf said darkly. "Spreading terror and despair. We only just escaped." He looked with concern at one of the hobbits, the one who he had called Frodo. Kaylee watched as all the company turned to look at the hobbit. The hobbit touched something on a chain around his neck and looked away.

Legolas turned to Kaylee with a frown. "You said this is your bother's land?"

Kaylee scowled. "How's about you tell me who you are first."

The elf frowned but Frodo nodded. "Tell her Legolas."

"I am Legolas, elf of the Greenwood. This is Gimli, son of *someone*, this Biromear son of *someone* and man of Rohan. This is Gandalf the gray and Strider, the ranger." Legolas said, waving a hand to each in turn.

Kaylee frowned. "I thought your name was Aaragon. If you're going to lie to me we might as well stop this now."

The elf frowned but Aaragon laughed and gave Kaylee a slight bow. "Very good, I am Aaragon, son of *someone* though I have been known as Strider for years. I am still not as comfortable as I should be with my given name, and Legolas was merely unsure which he should introduce me as."

"And I am Frodo, and my companions are Samwise Gamgee, Perigreen Took and Merriwhether Brandybuck." said Frodo, completing the introductions.

Legolas nodded and raised an eyebrow at her.

"I think he means it be your turn Missy." Gimli said. "And I must admit I'm just a mite curious as to who you are myself."

"I am Lady Kayleena of Gondor. My brother is Torodire, King of Gondor."

"Why is a Lady of Gondor, the King's sister no less, hunting bandits?" Aaragon asked.

Kaylee scowled. "My family's affairs are no concern of yours. If you must know, I am not thought of favorably by my brother. I do what I can to make Gondor a safer place. I stay out of his way, and he stays out of mine. It works best that way." She glared around, daring any of them to comment.

It was Gandalf who spoke next. "Lady Kayleena of Gondor, if you wish to accompany us to Mordor, we would greatly appreciate your help."

"Why are you going to Mordor?" Kaylee asked with a frown. "Don't you know what evil lives there?"

"That is why we must go." Gimli said.

"We go to destroy this." Frodo said, pulling the chain from around his neck and showing the Ring to Kaylee. All was silent as everyone stared at the Ring.

Kaylee reached out a careful hand and touched it with her fingertips. The cold metal whispered to her and she pulled her hand back as if stung. "Put that away." she said, backing away from both the hobbit and the Ring. "Put it away, quickly!"

Frodo put the chain back around his neck and tucked the Ring beneath his clothes. Kaylee drew a shuddering breath and looked at Gandalf. "I will accompany you, to get rid of _that_." She looked with distaste at the place the Ring had disappeared. "You look like you'll need all the help you can get."

Gimli and Aaragon laughed and Gandalf nodded. "Very well. Now, so long as you won't kill us in our sleep, we should get some rest. We leave at dawn."

Kaylee nodded and the small clearing once again became alive with activity. The men turned their attention to the horses while Gimli and Gandalf began exchanging bets about who could blow the bigger smoke rings.

Legolas stood apart from the others, watching Kaylee with a puzzled expression. Before Kaylee could demand he stop staring at her, Aaragon began to speak to him quietly in Elvish and Legolas turned away to reply even more quietly. Frodo and Samwise, or Sam as the others called him, turned a few rabbits on a spit over the fire while yelling at the other two not to have any till dinner.

Kaylee stood in the middle of all this, at a complete loss for what to do. The only times she had ever interacted with people, as in not killing them, were when she was required to attend public appearances at her brother's side. But she hadn't been to one of those in ages, and all she usually did was sit and glower at anyone who dared to speak to her.

She fiddled uncomfortably with the hilt of her sword. One of the hobbits, Merriweather also known as Merry, carried her other sword and her daggers to her, dumping them in an untidy pile at her feet. "There you go!" He said, cheerfully dusting off his hands. "Dinner ought to be ready in a bit."

"Thanks." Kaylee muttered, crouching and inspecting her weapons for dents or scratches. The hobbit nodded and walked off to go pester Sam. Kaylee ran her hands over the familiar blades and began sliding them back into their sheaths.

"You carry enough knives to outfit an armory." Aaragon observed, walking over to stand casually beside her, a grin on his face.

Kaylee glared at him. "I like to be prepared."

"Apparently."

"Did you have something you wanted to tell me?" Kaylee demanded.

"Not really."

"Then why are you talking to me?" Now Kaylee remembered why she didn't like being around other people. All the idiotic questions and small talk got on her nerves.

"You looked like you needed someone to talk with." Aaragon replied, seemingly oblivious to her glares.

"Well, I don't. I'm quite alright by myself." She turned away, hoping he'd take the hint and leave her alone.

"Why don't you and your brother get on well?" Aaragon asked suddenly.

"We get on fine." Kaylee snapped. "I'm just not suited to stay with the court." She flushed an angry red, embarrassed at having to talk about her brother. Who was Aaragon to ask her these things anyway? Why couldn't he just leave her alone?

"Not suited?"

Kaylee whipped around to glare at him. "Look, it's none of your business alright? I agreed to come with you to get away from Gondor, and I don't want to talk about it. So just leave me be!" She turned away and walked quickly across the clearing before he could reply.

She sat down against a tree and curled her legs under her. When dinner was ready Merry brought her her portion in a metal traveling bowl. Other then that, she was left alone. Occasionally she saw Gandalf or Legolas casting her suspicious glances but she forced herself to ignore them.

When the watches were assigned Kaylee volunteered to take one but Gandalf waved her off. "We have a pattern all worked out. Besides, you must be tired after chasing us for two days. You should get some rest."

Kaylee nodded and withdrew to her tree. She watched as Legolas and Gandalf exchanged a glance. Gandalf inclined his head towards her and Legolas nodded, taking up a position far enough away from her so as not to be intrusive yet close enough to keep an eye on her.

Biromear took the first watch and the others settled down to sleep. Legolas stayed where he was, but shifted into a more comfortable position.

Kaylee sighed and got to her feet. Legolas's eyes followed her as she walked over to him and stood with her hands on her hips. "So you're assigned to be my keeper, is that it?"

"It might be." He waved for her to sit down.

Kaylee scowled but took a spot beside the elf. "What?"

"I have been wanting to ask you something..."

"Well?"

Legolas looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "You say you are not Elven and yet your ears are pointed. And you say you are a noble of Gondor, how can that be?"

"None of your business."

"Anything pertaining to anyone traveling with Frodo and the Fellowship of the Ring is my business." he replied.

"The Fellowship of the Ring?"

"Those chosen by the Elven council to protect the Ring and make sure it is destroyed. As you are accompanying us, I must assume that you have become a part of the Fellowship. And so you become my business."

Kaylee scowled. "Of course, the Elves would have to stick their noses into this."

Legolas glanced at her in mild surprise. "I did not realize you did not like Elves."

Kaylee shrugged and sighed. "I'm a half elf, if you must know. My father was Elven. That's one of the reasons my brother and I don't get along. By rights I should be Queen of Gondor, if it hadn't been for my father. My brother's always worried I'm going to lay claim to the crown, as if I'd want it, so we came up with this. I stay away from him, he stays away from me. Except for when I'm absolutely required to be seen at his side. My heritage isn't well known. Most think I gave up the crown in favor of my brother because I was to sickly to handle the stresses of Queen."

"People actually believe that?" Legolas asked, incredulously.

Kaylee shrugged. "They don't see me much, so it get's by OK. Anyway, I don't like Elves all that much, for obvious reasons."

"What happened to your father? Your mother?"

"Mother died when Tore was born. Father... I never met. My mother taught me a little Elvish before she died but other then that I've had no contact with any of the 'Fair Race'."

"I am sorry."

Kaylee gave another shrug. "I get by. I'm happier out here then in the castle anyway." She stood and glared down at the elf. "Now if we're done with the little heart to heart I'd like to get some sleep."

"No one's stopping you." Legolas said, leaning back and raising an eyebrow at her.

Kaylee scowled and stomped back to her tree. "I should have killed him when I had the chance." She muttered.

"Now you wouldn't really want to do that." said Aaragon, sitting down beside her. "Then we would have had to kill you, and that would have been a shame."

"What is it with you and leaving me alone?" Kaylee demanded.


End file.
